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Of Gods and Mortals
Of Gods and Mortals is the 19th episode of Season 2 of Basket Sponge. It is the 40th overall episode of the series. Plot Prince Triton hears about the team and would like a royal match. Except the team was NEVER trained for immortals! Story We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog Show! LeBron: Patrick, why is their a flat screen TV in the gym? Patrick: Shut up, this is the best part. (eating popcorn) Squidward: He had it installed this morning. LeBron: We can't have a TV in here! snatches the remote from Patrick; as he does this, the channel accidentally switches to an infomercial Lady on TV: (with a sincere fae) Hello. Nearly half of men over 40 experience some degree of erectile disfunction. Are you- smashes the TV with a sledgehammer Larry: (pant, pant, pant) Everyone: …..... Larry: Come on. You didn't find that disturbing? Patrick: That was my TV! Lexi: (comforting him) We'll get a better TV, babe. LeBron: Guys, ahem. This is BASKETBALL practice. Patrick: What's basketball? LeBron: (facepalm) SpongeBob: We never actually practice basketball. Krabs: It's more of a social gathering... LeBron: Well we should CHANGE that! Squidward: How? Plankton: By practicing, dummy! LeBron: Thank you, uh.....who are you? Plankton: It's me, Plankton. LeBron: …...? Plankton: One of your players! LeBron: Have we met....? Plankton: YES!!! I'm here every DAY!!! LeBron: Did we go to preschool together? Plankton: Aww, for Neptune's sake, forget it!!! Neptune protrudes into the gym with a wrath of fire King Neptune: Who DARES take the name of King Neptune, Ruler of the Sea, in VAIN? points to Plankton King Neptune: ….you all just pointed to a pile of dirt. Plankton: No, I'm a PERSON down here! King Neptune: Oh? A talking dust bunny? Plankton: Oh, for the love of Neptune! King Neptune: That's it! All of you will be BURNED!!! (pulls out his trident) daughter, Princess Mindy from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie stands in front of him Mindy: Daddy, please, no! King Neptune: (zaps her) Not this time, DEAR!!! Mindy: (burnt and sizzling) Point taken.... King Neptune: Now, all of you Bulldogs with be put to DEATH, but first.... freezes Mr. Krabs Krabs: (frozen) Awww.....come on.... Squidward: What's your obsession with freezing Mr. Krabs? LeBron: Don't kill us, Your Majesty. Larry: Yeah! Just kill.....uh.....what's your name? Plankton: PLANKTON! MY NAME IS PLANKTON! Larry: Right. Kill Plankton. Plankton: Thank you. Wait, no! King Neptune: Silence! You all will be put to death, no matter WHAT! Triton, his son, gets in front of him Prince Triton: Whoa, whoa, Dad! These guys are cool! LeBron: (whispering) Who's that dawg? SpongeBob: It's King Neptune's son. King Neptune: Son, Daddy is in the middle of punishing these disrespectful creatures. Prince Triton: I've seen their basketball games on TV! These dudes are hilarious! King Neptune: Go on. Prince Triton: I propse they shall play a royal game at the King's Banquet this Saturday. King Neptune: Hmmm....some entertainment for the inlaws. That's not a bad idea. Prince Triton: If they win, they shall be proclaimed as the Royal Team of the Sea. King Netptune: Yes, and if they lose? Prince Triton: They will be fed to....The Behemoth! Behemoth from [[Climatic Conditioning] is seen chained in front of Neptune's chariot] SpongeBob: You captured that thing? King Neptune: All the way from Death Peak! Larry: Impressive.... Prince Triton: So, please, Father. Agree to this. King Neptune: Hmmm....very well. I expect to see all of you Saturday, promptly at noon! Patrick: Ahem, I don't wake up till 4 p.m. Lexi: (punches him) Patrick: Noon it is! King Neptune: Indeed. Your lives depend on it. jumps in the chariot, and rides far into the distance Prince Triton: Sorry about that, guys. LeBron: Are you kidding me, dawg? SpongeBob: You saved our lives! Prince Triton: I must warn you. Our current royal team is REALLY good. Larry: Pffft. Like they could EVER beat me! Haha! Prince Triton: They gods and rulers of the sea can beat any mortal being. You'd better train! (he vanishes) is still there Mindy: (to Patrick) So, remember that thing we had....in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.... Lexi: (grabs her, throws her to the ground, stomps on her, rips her hair out until she bleeds, stabs her with a pitchfork) Pant....pant....pant..... Patrick: And that would be my girlfriend. Mindy: (on the ground) Never mind.... the way to the royal match SpongeBob: LeBron, we've had about a week to practice...how come we HAVEN'T? LeBron: I'm feeling good about it. Larry: They're gods of the sea! How are you feeling GOOD about it? LeBron: I have a plan. they arrive at Neptune's Palace. They enter the gates, and asssume their position in the Royal Gym King Neptune: (him and his family are watching from their tables in the corner) See, Honey, these are the horrible players you wanted! Neptune's Wife: Hmm....they do look terrible. King Neptune: See? And you doubted me, Dear! Mindy: You wanted terrible players against our royal team? King Neptune: Yes, sweetie. Prince Triton: Why, Dad? King Neptune: All the gods and royals of Bikini Bottom have came to the banquet to watch our royal team crush the worst team we could find. Prince Triton: That's a little crule... King Neptune: We're a royal family. We're allowed to be cruel! Prince Triton: (sigh) …. '''King Neptune:' Besides, The Behemoth is hungry! points to The Behemoth who is snarling and banging inside of a metal cell King Neptune: Let the game begin! Bulldogs get ready LeBron: Just remember the plan! Larry: You never told us the plan! LeBron: Oh.....right.... closes his eyes as he hears his team screaming and getting trampled by the Royal Team LeBron: Well shit. looks up and sees the score is 60 – 0 LeBron: Heh-heh....please tell me we have 60. Larry: (limping down the court) What do YOU think! Lexi: How are we supposed to beat them? SpongeBob: They're huge! Squidward: And they have POWERS! Krabs: And I'm fat! LeBron: …... Krabs: It's true. LeBron: Fine. looms at the bench; Patrick and Plankton are sitting on it LeBron: Patrick, go in for Mr. Krabs. Patrick: AWWW YEAH!!!! (gets off the bench and runs on to the court) Krabs: (sitting on the bench) I thought you wanted to WIN! LeBron: My only other choice was....uh, what's your name again? Plankton: PLANKTON! LeBron: Right, that guy. And I'm never letting him leave that bench. Plankton: (sigh) buzzer beeps, as the game ends LeBron: Oh......shit. King Neptune: Attention, everyone! The Royal Team has beaten the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs! audience claps King Neptune: Now, they will be fed to The Behemoth! audience claps SpongeBob: …..meep. Neptune opens the cage, and The Behemoth is set loose into the gym Behemoth: GRAAAAR!!!!!! Krabs, and Plankton run away screaming LeBron: Guys! We have to stay and stand our ground! Behemoth: (roars in his face) LeBron: Never mind. Bad idea. Run! sees everyone already ran a long time ago LeBron: Dammit! team runs out of the gym, and The Behemoth busts through the walls and pursues them; the gang is chased through the streets of Bikini Bottom SpongeBob: (pant, pant) What are we gonna do? Larry: (pant, pant) LeBron's house is around the corner! LeBron: Hell no! I'm not letting that disgusting beast destroy my home! Lexi: We gotta go SOME place! Krabs: Patrick's rock! Patrick: No way! Lexi: Please, babe? Patrick: Okay. (blushes) Squidward: We don't have much time! team makes it to Patrick's rock and jumps inside LeBron: We should be safe in here... Plankton: Patrick, why do you have a bra? ...on your bed? Patrick: That's not important! SpongeBob: Is that a shirtless picture of Justin Beiber! Patrick: Shut up! Squidward: And the bed's wet.... Patrick: I didn't pee! Squidward: …. Patrick: I didn't. Larry: I found a decapitated head! Patrick: That's just Kevin! My manikin head! (picks Kevin up and hugs him) Larry: No, over there! (points to the corner, where we see Mickey Mouse's head) Patrick: Oh, riiight.....that IS a decapitated head. LeBron: Guys, listen! Behemoth is pounding on Patrick's rock LeBron: It's getting closer.... Behemoth uproots the entire rock and throws it SpongeBob: Uh-oh.... Behemoth: (picks up the team and is about to eat them) the creature vanishes Plankton: Whoa...what happened? Prince Triton: It is I. LeBron: What'd you do, Triton? Prince Triton: I banished him back to Death Peak. He was a horrible pet, anyways. Larry: Well you really saved our asses! Prince Triton: Indeed. Sorry about my dad. He got kinda carried away with the whole “feeding you to the beast” thing. It's just the royals are really hard to entertain these days... LeBron: No hard feelings, bro. Prince Triton: In fact, how about we schedule a rematch- Everyone: HELL NO!!!!! whistles for a taxi Driver: Where to? (drinks a beer) LeBron: Rock Bottom. Driver: (hickup) To Rock Bottom we go. cab speeds away Prince Triton: Rude... Category:Episodes Category:Basket Sponge Category:Basket Sponge episodes Category:Doctor Bugs Category:SBCA Category:The Imperial Ghost Category:2015 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts